Thursday, August 2, 2012

Opaque

I've been trying to write this blog for what seems like hours. I've hit somewhat of a writers block and what is weighing heaviest on my mind is too close to my heart to share with a world full of critics. So I'll just keep it to myself and over think and over analyze every small detail.

When I started this blog I challenged myself to open up and be honest, and if I had been honest with myself I would have realized how much of a challenge that would be for me. In my quest to be transparent, I've learned something key about who I am, about what makes me, me. 

So here it is... 

I find it terrifying for people to see my imperfections. 

I don't think I need to be perfect, because God knows I'm not, but I don't want people to see that I don't have it all together. Life threw me and Garrett a huge, fast curve ball, a ball that at times I have no idea what to do with. I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm mad, I'm confused, I laugh, I cry, and I hide it from everyone. 

So bare with me as I learn more about myself and become a better "blogger." Writing is always something I've been private about so it goes against every grain of who I am to share so much with so many people. 



As far as the rehab front goes, everything seem to be back on track. He got a new knee and he is already leaps ahead of where he was in the other knee. So yay for new knees!!!! :) 

I find it funny that in my life it's acceptable to say things like "new knee." The phrase that makes me chuckle every time I say it is, "Are you wearing your legs today?" Even typing it brings a smile to my face. 

Garrett likes to crack jokes about not having legs too. And if you know Garrett at all, this shouldn't surprise you. We went shoe shopping a few weeks ago and he didn't wear his prosthetics to the mall. When we checked out at the register he said to the cashier "I bet it's weird to sell shoes to a man with no feet." We both laughed, but you could tell how uncomfortable it made her feel.

You have to find the humor in life or you'll go crazy.




I like to listen to music when I write and one of my favorite songs came on and it just so happen to fit my mood exactly.  

So my heart is singing out this line of that song to the love of my life. I love you Garrett John. 

"I'm holding you closer than most because you are my heaven."

2 comments:

  1. I tease the shoes salespeople, too, but truly, I think it puts most of them at ease. Humor does tend to make the most of awkward and unconfortable situations. Garrett is so fortunate to be able to count on your loving support, and you are fortunate to have his love in return. Everything else will take care of itself in short order.

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  2. Reading your blog, I'm reminded of the many many times I tell my children that you have to learn to laugh even through the hard times.....it's what helps us to not grow bitter and angry. Laughter is such a gift from God. You two have been through the unthinkable.....and you can still smile, cry and love one another. Nothing else matters..... :-)))

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